Closing your eyes while reading this may not be practical but it is much safer than closing your eyes while driving. Seriously, if I were to read this to you, I would ask you close your eyes and concentrate on the feelings and emotions you experience. To often I can see, hear or read a story while detaching myself from it. A horrible traffic accident is easier dealt with if it is in another state, rather than just down the street from my house.
The small conference room you are sitting in is quiet. Your family is there and the doctor will be coming through the door at any moment. Although things have progressed quickly, it’s been an eternity since last weeks test. The symptoms came slowly with no real concern. Like a cold that you just couldn’t kick. Consequently, today there is a small group of our close friends lifting me up in prayer as we sit here this morning. Waiting for the doctor. Waiting for news. Sounds from the hallway brings everyone to attention, sitting straight up in your seat the doctor enters as your heart pounds, and anxiously you greet him with a handshake. Surely things are going to be all right, but you’ll feel so much better after hearing him say it. Your wife slides her hand onto your lap and grasps your hand; her grip is firm and tightens as the doctor begins to speak. It’s a tumor, it is actually more than one; there are several, and they’re malignant. It’s cancer.
Imagine your emotions. What are you thinking, how do you feel?
It doesn’t get better as the doctor continues. The cancer is advanced and is at stage four, spreading throughout the abdomen and into both of your lungs. Surgery, radiation and chemo are all ruled out as probable strategies. How much time will it take? How long do I have?
You find yourself taking in the details of this moment. The size of the room, the color on the walls, the furnishings, all ordinary like you would find in any office waiting area. Indeed there was nothing special or unique here, and yet this will be the place, this room and this moment will always be the day your life changed. Thirty minutes later, climbing into your car brings feelings of foolishness. Remembering just a year earlier how we just had to have a new car. The time we spent shopping and how every drive became an opportunity for us to covet another suv, and all for what? Another four and a half years of huge payments we didn’t need. It seems so foolish today.
You’ve been given about three to four months, how will you spend it? What will you do? What is important to you now? Perhaps you will withdraw into your home; close the curtains, take the phone off the hook and spend your day sleeping it away. Maybe curl up in a favorite chair, get a new plasma TV and watch movie after movie or could you finish reading all of your favorite books. What would you do? Travel? Live it up; go on a wild spending spree? Would you seek out only the best doctors chasing down every possible cure. Maybe you would pursue those whom you could blame for your currant fate? Lashing out at those who don’t understand how unfair this is, or how bad you feel. Do you blame God? This could be a good time to seek reconciliation from those in your past that need your forgiveness. Would you share praise to those whom you respect? Would you like to give advice or share wisdom from your life? Would it be friends and family only or would you open up to neighbors and community? How would you pray and for what would you pray?
Certainly, I don’t think everyone should respond to such news uniformly. We were all created unique and our lives have conditioned us in many different ways. I would hope that if I were faced with such a challenge, my priorities would narrow and focus to better reflect my values rather than unravel into a self-destructive pity. Having said this, why must I wait? Can I seek reconciliation now? Could I share my appreciation to those I admire today? Couldn’t I spend quality time with those I love now? Do I really need all the stuff I have and do I really need all the stuff I want?
If this were your last hour, what would you have wished you had done? Don’t take life for granted, get the most out of each day and don’t loose sight of what is important.
